OUR STORY BEGINS 2000 YEARS AGO. CHRIST HAD JUST RELEASED HIS DEMON SPAWN ACROSS THE WHITE PLAINS. ALL IS LOST.
Fast forward. We're wine drunk. It's midnight. We have two options: dominoes or midnight mac. Dominoes is the devil and reportedly forces child labor legislation in New Zealand. Look it up.
Mac it is. We promise not to tell our life's story ad nauseum. That shit is annoying.
Equipment
Instant pot: Any model with a manual setting works, but we used the ultra pot.
Frying pan (for the bacon)
Time to cook
Prep: 2 min.
Cook time: 15 min. (includes pressure build and cook time + bacon frying in its glory)
Ingredients
1 box rigatoni
8 oz smoked Gouda, cut into cubes
2 oz sharp cheddar, cut into cubes
2 oz habanero cheddar, cut into cubes
2 cups bone or chicken broth
6 slices of thick ass bacon*
2 tbsp unsalted butter
2 tbsp of lard
1 driveby of heavy cream**
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp garlic powder
*If you have to ask, it ain't thick enough yo.
**Open container, point down as you riddle the mac with your cream in a single pass. Measuring is for sober people.
Instructions
Fast forward. We're wine drunk. It's midnight. We have two options: dominoes or midnight mac. Dominoes is the devil and reportedly forces child labor legislation in New Zealand. Look it up.
Mac it is. We promise not to tell our life's story ad nauseum. That shit is annoying.
Equipment
Instant pot: Any model with a manual setting works, but we used the ultra pot.
Frying pan (for the bacon)
Time to cook
Prep: 2 min.
Cook time: 15 min. (includes pressure build and cook time + bacon frying in its glory)
Ingredients
1 box rigatoni
8 oz smoked Gouda, cut into cubes
2 oz sharp cheddar, cut into cubes
2 oz habanero cheddar, cut into cubes
2 cups bone or chicken broth
6 slices of thick ass bacon*
2 tbsp unsalted butter
2 tbsp of lard
1 driveby of heavy cream**
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp garlic powder
*If you have to ask, it ain't thick enough yo.
**Open container, point down as you riddle the mac with your cream in a single pass. Measuring is for sober people.
Instructions
- Get drunk (responsibly, this is a post uber meal). If you're sober, you're doing it wrong.
- Dump the following ingredients into the instant pot.
- rigatoni
- cubed smoked gouda
- cubed sharp cheddar
- cubed habanero cheddar
- bone broth
- unsalted butter
- lard
- heavy cream
- salt
- pepper
- red pepper flakes
- garlic powder
- Set instant pot to manual at 5min. Press start. Profit.
- Fry the bacon on medium heat until almost crispy (should still have some flop). Remove from heat and allow to cool before handling. Do not pick this shit up with your bare hands. ANA. You get a natural buff against pain when wine drunk, but your health bar still takes a hit the next morning.
- When the instant pot manual 5min has completed, use the quick release valve to remove the pressure immediately.
- Break up the bacon into whatever sized chunks (now that it's cool).
- Spoon the mac n cheese into bowls. Top with bacon. Gluttony. Engage.
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